Published on November 24th, 2016 | by Tom Firehill


Being a good teacher

A guinea pig and his young son ran a small foodstand selling delicious fruit. One day a returning customer stormed towards the stand in anger. The lizard was dressed in rich clothing and appeared aggravated, the guinea pig lowered the newspaper he was reading immediately, stood up, asking the customer: “How was the pineapp…” Before the guinea pig could even finish his sentence the customer stated “Your son stole golden nuggets from me!”.

The guinea pig calmly replied “Excuse me, my son did what?”

The customer repeated himself adding: “I pulled out my golden nugget pouch and remembered with clarity I had 5 nuggets, I used 1 to pay for the pineapple and now I have 1. Your son was standing right behind me when I had my nuggets out on the stand ” in a rude tone.

The guinea pig cooly replied: “Please calm down sir, there must be an explanation for this.”

The lizard became redder and started shouting: “I don’t want an explanation for this, the only thing I want are my nuggets back and a sincere apology “ pompously.

The guinea pig still calm responded: “There’s no need to raise your voice, I’m just trying to think what happened”

The lizard then rudely said rhetorically: “Do you think I care about what you have to say? Are you going to give me my money or not. Look just do it pig”

The guinea pig paused for a moment and replied simply: “No”.

Surprised the lizard replied: “Excuse me?!”

The guinea pig firmly said: “The answer is no” then sat on his stool, picked up his newspaper again returning to reading.

The lizard chuckled darkly and said: “Are you really gonna sit there and lie. I should call the police. What an example you’re setting to that squirt of yours, where is he anyway the little thief. I earn my nuggets and you’re just teaching him to steal. You’re a terrible father!.”

The guinea pig peered up from his paper and curtly replied: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave”.

The lizard then went on: “ You’re a middle aged pig doing what my cleaner’s son could do! That’s your life. You know what, keep those 3 nuggets I’ll just go to a better fruit stand from now on!” and left without a word his robe raising in the air behind him.

The guinea pig then lowered his paper and said with a sigh: “ Stanlee, come on out now”.

A young guinea crawled out from under the stand and adamantly said: “ Dad, I didn’t do it!”

The father looked at him and calmly but firmly said “ Let me see them”.

Stanlee reached into his pocket and presented his father with 3 golden nuggets. The dad sighed once more and snatched them from his sons paw, without any words. Sighing again he put the nuggets in his own pocket and returned to reading his newspaper.

“The Goonies or Terminator 2” he asked without looking at his son.

Stanlee looked surprised and didn’t know what to say. The dad then went on:  “ What! 3 nuggets ought to cover both of us at the pictures” looking at the movie selection on the newspaper.

Stanlee without a word pointed at an advertisment for Pingu: The movie! The dad, in surprise asked: “Pingu, the movie! You sure? Ok let’s go.”

Stanlee, stood still on the spot like a mannequin. The dad asked: “What is it now?”.

Stanlee whimpered: “How come I’m not in trouble?” .

The dad responded in a soothing voice: “ Even though what you did was wrong, you’re still a good kid. And that lizard, he was a prick. Sometimes that matters more.”

Happily he continued: “ Now come on we’ve got 15mins we need to get some popcorn before Pingu starts!”

About the Author

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top ↑